What's Yo Fantasy

Obsession time.  No, no.  Settle down.  This isn't one of those posts.  This is about fantasy football.

I was asked to join a  fantasy football team at work.  Initially I scoffed at the idea.  I am a Cowboys fan.  Seriously.  Big time.  I have no time or interest in creating a roster of random people and then watching them week in and week out.   And I have no interest in rooting against the Cowboys in the event that I play members of their team.  And remember?  We Lowes are busy during football season. 

 And then, I realized that Ryan could actually manage the team and I could trash talk.  I do love me some trash talk.  So I agreed.  And then, draft day commenced.  I was unable to attend draft night but I sent Ryan with some very specific instructions:

1. Get every Cowboy you can.  Specifically:  Miles Austin, Dez Bryant, and the defense.  My favorite current Cowboy, DeMarcus Ware, is an OLB.
2. Under no circumstances should you obtain Michael Vick.  He is a dog murderer and an Eagle.  We have completely different principles.
3. Under no circumstances should you obtain Donovan McNabb.  Anyone who in good conscience can be a Redskin and an Eagle in the same career has no business being associated with me.  I cannot possibly wish this man well.  
4. In fact, let's avoid all Redskins and Eagles.

Ryan did a great job.  No Vick, no McNabb.  He got Romo and Bryant.  We've done all right - had some heartbreaking losses from Week 1 where we scored the second highest points in the league and lost to the guy with first highest.  And then last week when I benched Devin Hester and he had his best game so far.

We decided to work on revamping ourselves a little this week, so we entertained some trades.  My criteria for a trade:  Does he wear a blue and silver star every Sunday?  No?  Then he has no business joining my team.  Ryan tried to reason with me: "It's supposed to be a dream team!  You are supposed to have the best of the best across the league!"  Me:  "How is that no exactly what  I'm saying?"  Ryan:  "You can't have a team full of Cowboys!"  Me:  "Jerry Jones does."

There's no reasoning with me on this.  Week in and week out  I stomp around cursing the non-Cowboys on my team and act like I'm Cameron Diaz in Any Given Sunday.

She's such a bitch in the movie, I love it!

So, fantasy football?  Yes please!  But I'll only like you if you represent.

 

GO BOYS!