Shameless Plug: Masons

So while browsing my Facebook (and you should so friend me so I can leave you in purgatory for the requisite 7 days before I confirm you), I stumbled across a post that was VERY intriguing.

$500 to Masons?!?  Are you kidding me?!?!

For those of you non-Northwest Arkansans, it's a super chic boutique with high fashion that I constantly drool over (and on a few lucky instances and bonus checks, shop at).

Check it, seriously.  And let me know what you'd buy.  I'm totally thinking red denim and studded heels.

Shoe Shopping

While Alli has a sweet little friend over and Ryan's at work, your girl is enjoying her beautiful Saturday by doing a little spray painting and online shopping.  I'm sure you'll get pictures later of the frames and other decor that I'm updating, but I just had to show you what I'm shopping for!

Kids Silver Sparkles

TOMS!!  Gawd I love this footwear!!!  First of all, they are comfy, versatile, and cute (I may have 5 pairs), but more importantly, when you buy Toms, they donate a pair of shoes to a child in need!  Shoes and philanthropy?  Talk about my kind of shopping!  Even better - they are uber (yes, I said uber) trendy kids footwear!  Alli has had a red pair for a while (the only color they ever had in her size in stock), but it seems Toms has figured out that little girls love sparkles.  So far we've ordered the silver pair above as well as these two below:

Does this not scream "ALLI??"

You can't get pink without purple!

How fabulous are all of those?  I can't wait for them to get here!!  And I may or may not have been looking for myself as well (don't I need purple too??) when I came across these:

Made for Lara

Pretty freaking perfect for my blue-loving friend Lara.  I'm trying to convince her to wear them under her wedding dress in May.  Hello!!

I'm a genius

I wonder if she will let me wear MY pink glitters with my pretty blue maid (not matron) of honor dress?

Perfection

Or she could say no and give me an excuse to buy the silver glitters.  You know, whatever.

Something awful has happened.

I don't want to alarm you too much.  But some really traumatic happened to me about a week and a half ago.

My gold Coach purse broke.

I haven't posted about it because it's just been too hard.  How do you tell your loyal, loving blog followers that one of the items that make you YOU is potentially lost forever?  So I've labored for 10 days on how to tell you, and it's time to do what I do best and tell you a story.

If you don't know, and you should, I absolutely adore Coach purses.  I've been carrying them for about five years now (ie - long before I could afford them).  I sell the old one when it's worn out and use it as a small downpayment on the next one, so that helps.  A little.  Therefore, at any given time, I have ONE Coach bag in my possession that I carry until it goes to Lauren Coach Purse Heaven.  Which is basically eBay.

So, go back to 10 days ago.  It's 9AM, I'm at work.  Happy, unsuspecting.  I pull out my gorgeous gold shiny fabulous Coach bag that Ryan got me for Christmas last year.  (I love it even more because he upped the ante and added the matching gold wallet.  He's awesome.)  I reach in to grab some lip gloss and I notice something amiss.

The flip latch is gone.  It's gone.  After I quietly scream and search frantically around my desk and in the purse, I realize it's gone forever.  Panic sets it.  At that time it was late October.  No gift-giving occasions.  Ryan's put us on a budget.  I now own a bootleg Coach purse.  What the hell am I going to do?

So I text Ryan the pic - "911!!  SOS!!! OMG!! HELP!"  He seems unimpressed.  Asked me something horrifying like "Why can't you just carry it like that?"  Then he came around.  Sort of.  "Can they fix it?"  Ick.  Fix it.  Yes, it would seem like they could fix it, wouldn't it?  Afterall, it's just a hunk of metal.  It's not like I ripped the thing.  So why in the back of my head was I already planning to send this big guy to Lauren Coach Purse Heaven and welcome a new bag?  Damn Ryan and his reason.

Several days later, I brought myself to enter my happy place - Coach at the Pinnacle Hills Promenade.  I have never gone into this store so dejected.  I took my beautiful bootleg bag to the counter to be consoled by Wanda, the nice middle-aged woman working the store that day.  Wanda walks me through the process.  Apparently I can send my damaged bag away and 4-6 weeks later one of three things will happen:

1. They fix the purse and mail it back.
2. They can't fix the purse.  They mail it back broken with a giftcard for $100-200.
3. They can't fix the purse.  They mail it back broken with a giftcard for the original retail price of the purse.

Wow.  I didn't even consider getting store credit.  Options 2 and 3 are better than I ever could have hoped!  Broken purse back to sell and then credit at Coach?  Maybe this whole broken latch thing is a blessing in disguise.  After all, it's been a year.  It's time for a change.  I grab the chic little Coach pen to sign the papers Wanda has prepared for me, feeling happier than I have in several days.  Then Wanda says "I've added some notes here - 'Customer loves bag, please repair if possible.'"  Like she did me a favor.

Come on, Wanda.  Do you not want to make a sale?  Do you even work on commission?  Help a sister out.  How's this for a note:  "Customer is just doing this to appease her husband.  Please return broken bag with note stating you can't fix it.  Store credit for any amount will be fine."

So I am anxiously awaiting the decision from Coach.  Fingers crossed for me, dears.  And don't worry - your girl isn't to be caught without a Coach bag on her shoulder.  I borrowed my girl Lindsey's bag she got a few months ago and doesn't carry right now.  Thanks, Linds!

 

Skinny jeans...ugh

So I made a huge purchase today.  Yes, it's true.  I bought a pair of skinny jeans.  Shoot me.  Yesterday I hit a boot sale and I bought 4 pairs.  I woke up this morning and realized that I could not wear boot cut jeans with these adorable boots.  So what did I do after work today?  I went to buy skinny jeans.  This is another trend I have been resisting for some time now.  As you can probably tell already, I am not into trends.  I just now got one of those weird long cardigans that doesn't button.  What's up with that?  But I think I like it.  Anyway, skinny jeans.

Buying skinny jeans should be some sort of torture method.  Seriously.  First of all, you have to ask for them.  They don't just set them out.  I think that's specifically so you have to ask the tiny Mason's salesgirl, "Excuse me ma'am, do you have any skinny jeans?"  She looks you up and down, mentally muttering something about "fatty jeans" but asks you for your size.  You give a generous answer - maybe a size lower than you think you are.  She frowns and says something about them running small.  Ugh, ok.  Bring me a damn 29.  You think the worst part is over once you have the jeans alone in the dressing room.  Oh no, the fun is only beginning.

Once you do the jeans dance (you know, the dance you do every time you have to put your jeans on), you realize you have fat calves.  Fat calves?  When did your calves get fat?  Can they even get fat?  How do you target tone your calves?  Did the birthday cake you ate this weekend go straight to your calves?  Impossible, you think.  But there you are, face to face with the reality that you are one of those people who has fat calves.  You don't even know yourself anymore.  The thighs you saw coming, but the calves?  Timidly you ask the salesgirl about this condition.  She gives you a knowing smile and says, "Mine are like that too."  Okay, so maybe your calves are fine.  Maybe it's the style.  Like a corset, but for your lower legs.  You can deal with that.  Until you notice how short skinny jeans make you look.  No, that whole "make you look longer and leaner" thing is a a myth.  You look 4'11. 

But hey, you tell yourself, it's what all of the twenty-somethings are wearing.  And dammit, you are twenty-something too.  And even being someone's mom, wife, and looking distinctly like a pear with toothpicks coming out of the end isn't going to stop you from being en vogue.  So you take a deep breath and head to the checkout with them, vowing to yourself you will never be seen in these Godforsaken skinny jeans without boots covering your big fat calves.