Something awful has happened.

I don't want to alarm you too much.  But some really traumatic happened to me about a week and a half ago.

My gold Coach purse broke.

I haven't posted about it because it's just been too hard.  How do you tell your loyal, loving blog followers that one of the items that make you YOU is potentially lost forever?  So I've labored for 10 days on how to tell you, and it's time to do what I do best and tell you a story.

If you don't know, and you should, I absolutely adore Coach purses.  I've been carrying them for about five years now (ie - long before I could afford them).  I sell the old one when it's worn out and use it as a small downpayment on the next one, so that helps.  A little.  Therefore, at any given time, I have ONE Coach bag in my possession that I carry until it goes to Lauren Coach Purse Heaven.  Which is basically eBay.

So, go back to 10 days ago.  It's 9AM, I'm at work.  Happy, unsuspecting.  I pull out my gorgeous gold shiny fabulous Coach bag that Ryan got me for Christmas last year.  (I love it even more because he upped the ante and added the matching gold wallet.  He's awesome.)  I reach in to grab some lip gloss and I notice something amiss.

The flip latch is gone.  It's gone.  After I quietly scream and search frantically around my desk and in the purse, I realize it's gone forever.  Panic sets it.  At that time it was late October.  No gift-giving occasions.  Ryan's put us on a budget.  I now own a bootleg Coach purse.  What the hell am I going to do?

So I text Ryan the pic - "911!!  SOS!!! OMG!! HELP!"  He seems unimpressed.  Asked me something horrifying like "Why can't you just carry it like that?"  Then he came around.  Sort of.  "Can they fix it?"  Ick.  Fix it.  Yes, it would seem like they could fix it, wouldn't it?  Afterall, it's just a hunk of metal.  It's not like I ripped the thing.  So why in the back of my head was I already planning to send this big guy to Lauren Coach Purse Heaven and welcome a new bag?  Damn Ryan and his reason.

Several days later, I brought myself to enter my happy place - Coach at the Pinnacle Hills Promenade.  I have never gone into this store so dejected.  I took my beautiful bootleg bag to the counter to be consoled by Wanda, the nice middle-aged woman working the store that day.  Wanda walks me through the process.  Apparently I can send my damaged bag away and 4-6 weeks later one of three things will happen:

1. They fix the purse and mail it back.
2. They can't fix the purse.  They mail it back broken with a giftcard for $100-200.
3. They can't fix the purse.  They mail it back broken with a giftcard for the original retail price of the purse.

Wow.  I didn't even consider getting store credit.  Options 2 and 3 are better than I ever could have hoped!  Broken purse back to sell and then credit at Coach?  Maybe this whole broken latch thing is a blessing in disguise.  After all, it's been a year.  It's time for a change.  I grab the chic little Coach pen to sign the papers Wanda has prepared for me, feeling happier than I have in several days.  Then Wanda says "I've added some notes here - 'Customer loves bag, please repair if possible.'"  Like she did me a favor.

Come on, Wanda.  Do you not want to make a sale?  Do you even work on commission?  Help a sister out.  How's this for a note:  "Customer is just doing this to appease her husband.  Please return broken bag with note stating you can't fix it.  Store credit for any amount will be fine."

So I am anxiously awaiting the decision from Coach.  Fingers crossed for me, dears.  And don't worry - your girl isn't to be caught without a Coach bag on her shoulder.  I borrowed my girl Lindsey's bag she got a few months ago and doesn't carry right now.  Thanks, Linds!